Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Life...
Current mood: discontent
So I've been incredibly blessed recently, I'll just list them,

1. Everything regarding my license and a car has fallen nicely into place in the last 2 months.

2. I can drive myself around and not depend on other people.

3. Girly thing: I can finally look into my closet and not feel like the broke little white girl...lol

4. Since living at Mary's, I get to have a social life because I don't have to fight to go out with my friends.

5. I am still very much in love with Jason.

6. I have been able to help my sister with her tuition.

7. My dad has been better since I left. He cleans the house and has recently bought, a truck, a lawnmower and a recumbent bike. (truck and mower are useful for starting his business again, the bike with help him strengthen his ab muscles since he had hernia surgery about 6 months ago)

8. I have internet in my room!

9. Vanessa and I have been getting along unusually well recently.

I feel like now is another turning point in my life. Like I have to do something important with my life this spring... I have soo many ideas as to paths I can follow and things I will be able to do

But I still don't know what I'm going to do, and despite of all these blessings I still feel as if something is wrong, like I want to run away from it all because it's too good.

I wonder if I get that from my mother, maybe I'll always be this restless.

Also, being completely realistic there are some downsides,

1. I'm finding that the warmer it gets outside, the harder it is for me to pay attention to my classes.

2. I have the focus of a squirrel on crack recently.

3. I find that I am way too busy lately, and I have no time to relax.

4. However when I do find time to relax, I seem to get little spurts of depression.(who knows, maybe I'm just an emo kid in a hippy childs body...lol)

5. A couple of friends that keep hinting that I'm not "christian enough" for some reason... which is begining to bug me. They really don't even know what is going on right now...

Anywho, I'm going to reflect and pray and make my crazy little lists of pros and cons sooner or later I'll decide what I'm going to do this spring/summer.

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2. I have the focus of a squirrel on crack recently.......amazing comparison, kudos for that

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Didn't you know that's my nickname? lol it seriously is:)

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no running away from things on the turn of spring, because from there everything can only get better, and if this is how things are just at the beggining of it, i bet the rest of spring and summer will be something to remember. lets have fun at the concert love you